from an article originally posted January 10, 2015...
Norman was delivered to my home yesterday. There were a few mix-ups and it took us a bit to get him here, but now he is settled into his new home. As y'all can imagine, for my littlest ones a chair with wheels is an exciting addition, until they hear they don't get to take joy rides through the house--then they became indifferent to Norman.
Yesterday, we had our first outing. It felt a lot like the first time we took our new baby somewhere. Breaking Norman down and making sure we had all the pieces took us some time. I know over time we will get more comfortable. But we loaded up and headed to an appointment to get a handle on new pain.
It felt glorious to get out of the house for even a moment. These past weeks have changed me, and the landscape of the land in what I see as we drive down the road has changed. I catch sight of a bird and I can't look away. Peaks Pike has never seemed so majestic. Then, on the other hand, many sights seem so shabby, broken, as if they don't fit. And I realize that one day, one glorious day when everything is restored to the new heavens and new earth--so much of the squalor we have added will be gone. I love the wonder of it all, but I haven't always let myself wonder over such things.
So Norman. Norman is my new ride. Yesterday I asked for name suggestions, and so many delightful names came through. Then I tried to think of a name that would help me not hate having a wheelchair. I then pictured a kind-faced, strong, and weathered old grandpa that wanted to carry me for a bit. A sweet old man that said, Tired one, let me carry you for a bit, you look like you could benefit from my strength.
You can imagine I don't love having a wheelchair. In some ways, it admits defeat. I'm learning a new corner of my own vanity. A dear woman I loved was falling a lot. She refused a walker and we were all frustrated, but now, now I get why she didn't want it. It's hard to admit weakness.
Norman and I get to figure this out. We get to learn this new hard corner of life. We get to admit we need help, and strength of another and gentle care. Is their weakness in your life you are afraid to admit? How could the strength of another love you well today? Where is vanity keeping you hiding?
Now, it's time I actually went somewhere with Norman other than the doctor. What plans do y'all have this weekend? Any new places to eat I need to try out to celebrate my seester getting much older than me? (Hee,hee)