from an article originally posted January 21, 2015...
So many of you big-hearted loves have been trying to love me a beach experience. In a flippant way, a few weeks ago I said on Instagram that I wanted to go to the beach, which I do.
I’m here to say, I’m going to keep dreaming large. I’m working with my hospice team to do exactly that--get to the beach with my people. It may be a far-off goal, it may never happen, but it’s good for my heart to hope for it. So, if you have packed up some sand, don’t worry; I’m going to find the beach, too. I’ll get there. And if I happen to go Home before, please don’t feel sorry for me. Let’s not forget that I have seen some of the most beautiful beaches in my time.
In light of dreaming large, I must also tell you my exciting news. I have signed two book contracts. Two contracts for two books that I cannot wait to share with ya’ll. The first is a partnership with my friend Jill. Together we are writing about walking in friendship through suffering. And I will also be writing another book that digs deep into the heart and continues to ask questions, big questions.
Maybe I’m wildly crazy, but today I’m still here. Today I’m alive, and in the state of being I find myself, I want to continue to write. It’s my privilege to write. Writing keeps me looking for the grace in my day. Writing holds me accountable to the hopes I long to meet. Writing allows me the outlet in my heartache. I’m not on a unique journey of dying from cancer, but I’m on my journey. Well, perhaps it’s unique in every way. Would you please pray for the words to come, the energy to write, and a clear message to develop?
So, friends, I’m dying yes. But I’m still living. I’m still here. Today. I have today. I get to hold my babies close, I get to hear their giggles come up the stairs and reach me in my bedroom. I get to laugh with girlfriends, and enjoy my people. I get to continue to write and love through writing. And, God willing, the doors will continue to open to get me to the beach. We are looking to fly away to a beach in February. It’s good to have goals. It’s good to hope. It’s good to put your feet in the sand, if only for a moment.
How are you living today? Do you see yourself pulling back from life or pressing into it? What is threatening your joy? What has stolen your hope? And to be sure I’m clear, my hope is not in beaches and book contracts; my hope is in Jesus alone. But in my love of Jesus--He has grown in me a desire to live well, to write, to share joy with my loves. I pray I could do that well, until the end approaches.
If you were one of the kindhearted people that sent us shells and sand, the kids have enjoyed playing with them in the craft room. We are ready to set out on our own adventure to find sea shells.