Kara has written about the long goodbye, and as much as it is heart-wrenching it is also peaceful. As I write I am watching Kara wrestle to sleep. Her sleep is mixed with moving pillows for comfort, sitting up to relieve pain, taking medication, or trying to communicate with me. But sometimes her sleep is the quietest and most peaceful event of her day. My long goodbye is full of watching and reliving memories of our life together.
I have great memories of us that will last a lifetime, no length of goodbye will take them. I have an us that cannot be lost. And I still get small moments where we are us. But I grieve as I watch her fade. The peace that is in our house is amazing, peace in the midst of tears, peace in the midst of impending loss, but it is peace.
I want all of you to know how thankful I am for your support and prayer. As I struggle to pray, I know you are praying for our family. My prayers seem to turn into puddles of tears. But you are an encouragement to us.
I know I will carry these last memories of peace.
I like this passage in John because it is not calling me to work for peace, but it tells me why I have peace, and the peace I have is Jesus' peace (my peace I give to you). The peace I know is mine because it is His.
How does God's peace move in where fear wants to live?