Friends, please forgive my quiet. We have been stumbling along saying some hard goodbyes to a medical team we have worked with for years and moving into a new realm of life. Dying. Gulp- it’s hard to write, harder to believe.
But as I’m dying, I’m still living. Today- I’m here. So we are living to enjoy these moments even as we know they are fading. Cancer is growing in my hip and weakening my leg. So I’m learning new weakness, finding other strength to compensate for the lack of strength. I am able to walk only short distances. Soon a wheelchair, and with each admitting weakness- a new corner fades.
I am still recovering from surgery, and I have to say this pain pump is miraculous. I have very little pain, and for that Jason and I are so grateful. Before, I was so medicated, and it still didn’t touch my pain. We are so unbelievably thankful for this pump that has restored me in so many ways.
Mostly, we are savoring our moments. I’m resting a lot and letting people take care of me. My Corrie is here as is my mom. Tonight Jen is coming to capture my presence, my living today. I’m still here.
I know I have been a little quiet, but I’m fighting to understand this new normal. I’m trying to understand what my living looks like even as I’m fading, fading. I am praying to spend my strength well, my time in love, and my moments cherishing those around me.
Who are you cherishing today? How are you spending the love that was given to you to give today? What does it mean to be hidden in Christ?