From an article originally posted September 26, 2013…
Over the past two weeks I have been working hard on developing my blog and expanding it to reach a wider audience. Why am I doing it? Why am I sharing my story so vulnerably to the masses?
My first answer would be that’s how I live. I live an open story, I love the story of others. The true story, the story of the heart. Spend a coffee with me, and know my love comes from a place of knowing you in a real meaningful way. I don’t care much about small talk.
But why here, why on a blog?
My story is not extraordinary, not a bit. Suffering is universal. Many of my readers are not facing cancer, but if I had the chance to coffee with each of you, I believe I would find a great hurt, a deep wound or suffering that is unimaginable. Many of you have given me the gift of telling me your story. The real one.
I think people look on at my hard and wonder, does God really show up? People long to be witness to beauty. True beauty that exists in the midst of ugly and hard. This is my all-time favorite picture from Jen. I use it often. Better than words ever could, this depicts the beautiful, ugly of my story.
This, to me, is the picture of community. I cannot tell you how many times Anna rubbed my feet, emptied this bucket, and sat quietly next to me in my tears and brokenness. It feels like she was always on one side of me and Jason on the other. The unbelievable beauty of this brings me to tears.
We want community that knows our hearts, but we often struggle to open ourselves up to be truly known. Though it’s one of our greatest hearts desires, we withhold our hearts. Do you know how safe my people feel to me that they have seen at my worst, heard me cuss like a sailor at the pain, seen me broken beyond measure, and they still love me recklessly. It’s such a picture of God’s abundant love. I think that is the story people keep showing up to see.
It encourages my heart that over 700 of you have liked my page on Facebook. Everyday more of you subscribe to my blog in email on the right side of my blog. You share my story and ask others to follow me. It is so humbling. Thank you. Please continue to share my story. Pray mine would be a story of glorifying God in all circumstances.
Next Monday, I will wake from a lengthy surgery and hear what my battle is going to be. We have played every scenario in our minds, but not until that moment will we know. Pray that we would know the nearness of Jesus no matter the news.
My heart grows very anxious of another battle. I lose my breath when I think of entering the chemo room again. Even the idea of getting my port back in fills me with trepidation, but I know that I know, that I know, that I know, grace will show up. Y’all remind me, my friends remind me, scripture reminds me. My story is good, because Jesus is writing every word of it.
I long to use this place to glorify God, speak truth in the midst of suffering, and lastly, I long to encourage women to be proactive about their health. I had a great conversation with a friend yesterday who voiced fears over a mammogram. It blessed my heart to talk her through her fears. I long to do that in this place. October is breast cancer awareness month, and I’m working hard to share my story. So I would humbly ask you to share my story, post my blog, subscribe.
Next week my guy will be doing this. Waiting. Hard, tied in knots, broken waiting. The blessing of this blog is the gift of your prayers. We could not do this, function, keep going without the prayer support of y’all. Please continue.
If you know someone with a blog that would like to share my story, I would be humbled if you would mention me. I long to help a woman prevent having to walk this road.