Kara’s Collection: Help, blessed help

From an article originally posted April 2, 2013…

Easter was humbling. That’s the story of Easter. Humiliation exalted. A cruel death, an unbelievable resurrection. Life restored. Freedom proclaimed to this captive. Praise be!

Last night we crowded our table with some of our most favorite people. A young couple that have been such a gift to Westside and our family came to dinner. I unwisely spent my energy all day trying to ready the house before my next chapter with cancer. The men proceeded to leave for a leadership meeting, and I was so very exhausted. I did something I don’t often do. I sat on my stool and let my friend love me. She loved me cleaning my kitchen. She loved me packing my kids lunch. She loved me telling me her story, her now. She loved me by asking me about my conversations with God.

I made a pot of soup, a pan of cornbread and a salad. I opened my home. And I humbled myself to receive help. The last part is the hardest for me. For years, I would never let anyone help me with cleanup. Often, I would leave it at the end of the night, too spent from loving and talking to clean. This is such an area of weakness for me. It’s pride. I want strength, not to share my weakness. But I’m learning my biggest strength may be my weakness.

Today, Jason and I were asked to come on a radio show to discuss suffering. I imagine this is the very subject my pride wishes I didn’t know so much about this morning. But it’s my now. My today. My gift. The blessing I couldn’t live without. The blessed humiliation that brings true life. Life that is worth living.

My favorite for now:

When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart,

I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.

Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.

You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.

For behold, those who are far from you shall perish; you put an end to everyone who is unfaithful to you.

But for me it is good to be near God; I have made the Lord GOD my refuge, that I may tell of all your works.
— Psalm 73:21-28

I was ignorant and brutish.... The nearness if God is the ONLY thing that is good.