It’s 4:30 in the morning and I cannot sleep. I woke with my daughter snuggled close, and all at once my mind was awake. I realized I have hours before my big treatment and I have days of work to get done. There is something each treatment that makes showing up more and more difficult. It’s simple—I know what is going to be happening. I know how low I will be brought when the healing poison is administered. I know how low I already feel. I know the fight for my normal will begin the minute the slow drip of poison begins. So in that place anxiety grows. But this morning my mind started to wonder over the power of love. And even in my low state, I am still able to live in love, extend love, and rest in love.