Doubting Thomas

Doubting Thomas

When something unexpected comes along in my life and disrupts my plans, I am quick to panic. Why this particular roadblock? Why now? How am I supposed to handle this? And what good could possibly come of this situation? My questions are rapid-fire.

But instead of reaching for faith, I often travel down the wrong fork in the road.

I often choose to doubt.

Kara’s Collection: Oh, the heights and the depths...

Kara’s Collection: Oh, the heights and the depths...

from an article originally posted July 21, 2014...

My heart has been stirred once again by a book I read before Jason asked me to be his. I read it so many years ago when I was filled with ideas of what love should be, imaginings of marriage, and wistful daydreams of love. I read the love story of Sheldon and Davy and grew deep expectations and hope for what my love story would one day become. Now, as I return to the story new nearly 20 years later, I see how I have known love like theirs in many ways, but in different ways. And as I read his words, I am often thinking of my own love for Jesus, my Jason, and my littles. The love story that Jesus has developed in me.

Kara’s Collection: Living Beyond Feelings

Kara’s Collection: Living Beyond Feelings

from an article originally posted July 20, 2014...

I have a dear friend and I often wake to her texts that remind me she’s praying for me. It’s a lovely way to wake. She often will follow up with a question of how I’m feeling, and that text often makes me a little sad. I want to lie, but she is a friend that wants to hear the truth.

You see, I want to feel good. I want to say I’m great. I want to not feel like I feel today. So yesterday I braved a challenge to my dear friend. I asked her to begin to ask me how I’m living. I asked her to ask me how I’m capturing joy, embracing each moment, living—even when I feel like death. And certainly check in on how I’m feeling. That is loving. So loving. But for a mama that has loved her health, it’s hard to embrace this as my new story.

The Dreaded Pile

The Dreaded Pile

There’s a pile in our house that I cannot control, no matter how much time I invest. Even when I get to the bottom of the pile, the next hour or day it fills up again. It sounds like a great metaphor for the idols in our hearts, but it’s actually the dreaded ironing pile. You see, in Germany, a dryer is not an everyday appliance. In the States, a dryer is as important and normal as a refrigerator, but here it’s the exception to the rule. So while I do have a dryer (thank goodness!), it’s not as powerful as in the States and I have to iron all my husband’s work shirts, pants, jeans, and all our dresses for us girls. I’m sure others have a bigger pile than mine so I won’t compare, but for me the ironing is one of the chores I have a hard time getting a grip on.

Kara’s Collection: Determined

Kara’s Collection: Determined

from an article originally posted July 17, 2014...

Last night two different friends asked me how I was doing. I gave a limp reply but they are the friends that ask: REALLY Kara, how are you REALLY? A few things have happened this week that have changed my perspective a bit.

First, someone was coming to visit me for my birthday day, and they were asked, Oh, are you going to the hospital to see her? Then as I was planning a retreat for this fall, one woman said she expected to find me very sick. More than that, a lot of people have commented on the change of tone in this place, in my writing, in my perspective. Nothing negative, just a change. I would agree; where we once held a bit of confidence in a cure, we now hold onto something much different. Those words are reflected in this place.