I really connect with what Blythe is saying here. I’m struggling to know which realm I’m supposed to live and love. There is a part of me that thinks I’m supposed to fade gently into the background, and another part feels I’m to fight for life and live vigorously in each moment. Then there is my body that limits everything in pain and nausea. It’s hard. These moments are hard on us all. Thank you Blythe for sharing so candidly and gently.
Two and a half years ago my younger sister called me and told me she and been diagnosed with breast cancer. I cried, I cried, I cried, she softly said "Jonna I am sorry." I said "why are you telling me you are sorry?" She responded, "because it made you sad". She then went on to tell me that she was not afraid to go home to Jesus.
So many of you big hearted loves have been trying to love me a beach experience. In a flippant way, a few weeks ago I said on Instagram that I wanted to go to the beach, which I do.
I’m here to say- I’m going to keep dreaming large. I’m working with my hospice team to do exactly that- get to the beach with my people. It may be a far off goal, it may never happen, but it’s good for my heart to hope for it.
There are things in life that are simple, things you can do without thought. Empty the dishwasher, done. Fill each car with gas, boom. Make a meal, pow. But when a person you love is fading, nothing is simple. People who have walked this path tell me that grief is all different but it seems to be all in the same direction.
I thought I would take a minute to read to ya’ll. I hope it isn’t upsetting seeing me so skinny. I thought it would be good for you to see me. The me that now looks me in the mirror.