When Kara was fighting breast cancer, I entered a world where everything felt turned upside down. Navigating friendship is hard enough, but knowing what to do or say when someone has cancer can be completely overwhelming. The not knowing makes some people want to head in the other direction. There aren’t perfect answers to this question of what to say/what not to say. And there is grace in that. There’s no exact rule book—you’ll have to dive into to figuring out your relationship and what that looks like in the midst of cancer. But let me first encourage you—you can do this. Being there for your person is the best thing you can do. And it will bless both of you.

October is breast cancer awareness month, but most of us don’t need to be reminded to be aware of the disease. We already are aware. We know a friend or family member who’s currently fighting it or has fought it in the past. We recognize that breast cancer is hard and heartbreaking, and that it doesn’t discriminate in age. But what we don’t often talk about, is how can we support our friend or loved one who is fighting breast cancer?