Confession

Confession

As I prepared this week’s Kara’s Collection posts to be published, I realized how few we have left before we’re done with this beautiful, important work. It seems silly to type that—I mean, I am a part of the community that journeyed this with Kara. And I’ve read all of these posts a million times. Of course I knew that they would eventually come to an end, but somehow this week, it just hit me hard. Finishing posting her blogs will be the end of a chapter, putting even more distance between me and Alive Kara.

Kara's Collection: Hospital Visit ~ Guest Post by Jill Buteyn

Kara's Collection: Hospital Visit ~ Guest Post by Jill Buteyn

from an article originally posted February 4, 2015...

A few days ago, I arrived at the hospital to see Kara and then realized I hadn’t asked her room number. I got on the elevator, thought I remembered what floor she was on the last time, and then pushed that number.

The doors opened and I stepped off. Everything looked different.

This isn’t oncology, is it?

No. The nurse at the desk replied. It’s hospice.

Kara's Collection: Grieve and get on with it...

Kara's Collection: Grieve and get on with it...

from an article originally posted February 3, 2015...

I used to function from this place: grieve and go. When I would meet a new limitation in myself I would wince at the loss of a strength, but then I would simply fight to move on with living as best as I could.

Now I’m weakening to such a greater degree, this passive attitude is becoming more difficult. I simply have little to call strength anymore. I’m seeing the quickening of my fading and I’m left frayed. I want to pretend at strength, but I simply have none left to pretend with to the outside world. I’m a gifted napper and pill taker: my remaining strengths.

Kara's Collection: Spring Tickle

Kara's Collection: Spring Tickle

from an article originally posted February 9, 2015...

Today spring slipped out of our winter wanderlust and made us want to cut and paste things. We dusted off the hammock for a ride and pushed the wheelchair around the neighborhood. Neighbors outside enjoy the winter break. Balls were being passed, garage floors were swept, and the breeze refreshed the hearts of anyone willing to breath deeply. The sun is too delicious not to enjoy. It was an infectious kind of day.