from an article originally posted February 4, 2015...
A few days ago, I arrived at the hospital to see Kara and then realized I hadn’t asked her room number. I got on the elevator, thought I remembered what floor she was on the last time, and then pushed that number.
The doors opened and I stepped off. Everything looked different.
This isn’t oncology, is it?
No. The nurse at the desk replied. It’s hospice.
from an article originally posted February 3, 2015...
I used to function from this place: grieve and go. When I would meet a new limitation in myself I would wince at the loss of a strength, but then I would simply fight to move on with living as best as I could.
Now I’m weakening to such a greater degree, this passive attitude is becoming more difficult. I simply have little to call strength anymore. I’m seeing the quickening of my fading and I’m left frayed. I want to pretend at strength, but I simply have none left to pretend with to the outside world. I’m a gifted napper and pill taker: my remaining strengths.
from an article originally posted February 9, 2015...
Today spring slipped out of our winter wanderlust and made us want to cut and paste things. We dusted off the hammock for a ride and pushed the wheelchair around the neighborhood. Neighbors outside enjoy the winter break. Balls were being passed, garage floors were swept, and the breeze refreshed the hearts of anyone willing to breath deeply. The sun is too delicious not to enjoy. It was an infectious kind of day.
from an article originally posted January 30, 2015...
Carl comes regularly and encourages our entire household. He has been reading through Psalm 119 with me. I want to constantly make him stop and re-read the abundant beauty found in this robust Psalm. It’s simply packed full of the grace I need. If you are struggling- I highly suggest spending a season in this Psalm- one small section at a time.
from an article originally posted January 28, 2015...
Some days are for getting through. I never liked those days, but they happen and they are a reality. Today, I met my hospice doctor for the first time. He was lovely, and I vomited in front of him for good measure and over-sharing through bodily function. It was lovely.
