When I was a little girl, manners were very important to my mother. We wrote thank-you notes for every gift we received, we practiced proper telephone etiquette, our table manners were impeccable, and we were well versed in small-talk pleasantries. As a kid, I thought it was all for show, but now as I am teaching my own small children, I am coming to understand that there is a lot more to manners than social niceties and proper conduct. In considering how to approach manners with my littles, here are some thoughts on why manners are truly valuable.

I’ve shared before that I grew up in a military family. Sometimes people ask me what that was like moving around so much; it’s all I knew, so in that regard it’s a difficult question to answer, but at the same time, I think about how Mamma always seemed to approach moves with a sense of adventure and anticipation. It never crossed my mind to be upset or scared—we were on to the next promising place of potential friends and fun experiences.