One beautiful spring day, Kara and I took our littles to the zoo. I remember reveling in the sunshine that day and loving being with Kara where I had so many memories with Story. As we walked and talked, Kara told me that she was getting quite a few requests for speaking engagements. She asked if I would manage them for her. I was thrilled; God had made a way for me to stay connected! A reason to talk and text beyond How are you feeling today.
From an article originally posted September 18, 2012…
This letter was written to me by my dear friend Jenny. Jenny was the one to share the gospel with this young, hurting girl. She showed me my sin and pointed me to the forgiveness I had in Jesus, and she invited me to have a relationship with Jesus. That moment forever changed the landscape of my life. I was never promised easy, but I was promised Peace—real PEACE.
She has been a constant encouragement to me, not only through chemo, but throughout my entire life. Her tender heart and gentle love for Jesus has always spurred on my faith. This letter was such a sweet reminder to me that hard is a grace all its own. Jenny has faced her own hard and met Jesus there. That suffering and hard is meant for our good to deepen our faith. The Lord is really working on my heart right now, and I need more time to explain the things He’s growing in me. I cannot articulate it yet. But be blessed by the faith of this dear saint Jenny.
The week before Kara died, I read an op-ed piece in a major newspaper written by a woman exploring what it means to grieve someone she only had a virtual relationship with. She became a Twitter follower of a woman dying of cancer; over the course of years, she fell in love with the woman and her story, and then when the woman sadly died, the writer didn’t know exactly how to grieve—she couldn’t go to the funeral, she didn’t have a relationship with the woman’s family members, none of her friends could talk about her. It was a strange, difficult situation to be in, and I felt her pain. I remember thinking, That will be the case with so many people when Kara dies.
From an article originally posted September 14, 2012…
It has taken me longer to bounce back this round of chemo. I certainly took an emotional hit this round more than the last. I think it wasn’t until this treatment that I realized I have cancer. I’m not that sharp; it took me 2 months to face this reality.
A sweet friend brought me lunch Wednesday and stayed while I napped and cared for Story Jane. She sweetly and gently asked me what my prognosis is. She said she is often asked. I will tell you it is not a thought that I think often during the day, but I the evening I am often plagued with these thoughts. But it’s a question, I imagine, many of you have.
Kara and I always talked about everything; every plan, struggle, joy-filled part of our days were fuel for conversation. During the last few weeks of her life, we talked less about the near future. She would encourage me and tell me that I would do great. She even joked that I could do life without her but she could not live without me.
When I began to think about what to do this summer, I mentioned to her that the kids and I might take a long road trip…
