Kara's Collection

Kara’s Collection: Hope Restored

Kara’s Collection: Hope Restored

From an article originally posted March 15, 2014…

I was so peaceful last week, unbelievably peaceful, but right before my appointment yesterday my anxiety flew off the charts. My sister called and I kind of shut down and told her I might not call her after my appointment. I felt overwhelmed with fear and this small control felt like something I could manage. I was tired of everyone hearing bad news, and I wanted to give everyone a chance to breathe if the news was discouraging. I was panicked. But I always call my sister after my appointment; I was simply overcome in that brief moment before we entered the small room with my doctor.

Kara’s Collection: Test Day

Kara’s Collection: Test Day

From an article originally posted March 13, 2014…

There are moments, hours, segments of time where I think, This is all a mistake. I have passing thoughts that the part of me that lit up in the machine last week was an accident, or a product of an old virus that my lymphatic system couldn’t keep up with and indicated cancer falsely. Then I have moments were I know the machine is right, I know the aggressive nature of my cancer, and I sigh, and cry, and lose my breath.

Kara’s Collection: The Hard of Waiting

Kara’s Collection: The Hard of Waiting

From an article originally posted March 12, 2014…

If you asked what the hardest part of our journey has been, it would be waiting. Waiting is painful. Waiting causes your mind to jump into a thousand different scenarios. It’s painful, peace-stealing business. This time has been different. The waiting has been difficult, but peace has been present—unbelievable peace. We are humbled by it, we talk about it in wonder. It simply does not make sense, but then, it makes complete sense.

Kara’s Collection: I Understand, I Do

Kara’s Collection: I Understand, I Do

From an article originally posted March 10, 2014…

Today I ran to Costco with my oldest to stock up on prepared meals: lasagna, pizza, bagels, fruit, because meals need to happen, but we just can’t do it this week. So we extended ourselves a little grace and went and purchased all the samples that we liked today that we regularly never eat. I threw in fruit to balance the preservatives and bought organic sauce instead of the regular kind to feel better about my lame cooking this week.

Ella and I were rounding the corner to grab toast that is full of protein and chia seeds when we saw him. He was my age or maybe younger and he was in a motorized cart. I knew his deep set dark eyes, his bald, and his gaunt frame. He took my breath away. He could be my mirror in a short time from today.

Kara’s Collection: Peace

Kara’s Collection: Peace

From an article originally posted March 8, 2014…

The struggle to know peace in this unknown is a constant begging, asking, listening to truth. In the waiting and the unknown, much works to steal peace. Much. So we do the motions of life. We do what we know to be normal and we fight for joy in our moments. I play the music loud and dance, I try and remember food, and I walk each moment noticing each foot in front of the other.